We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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