this beer tastes like vomit already
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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