i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize