Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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