worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
