I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
