I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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