Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize