2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
