Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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