Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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