I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
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Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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