dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
