i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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