Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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