Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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