Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
