well you can't waste a boner
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
