You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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