No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
