he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
