I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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