i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
