It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
