Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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