if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
