new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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