I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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