dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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