come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How does one acquire holy water?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
