the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
