jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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