Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
