so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize