i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize