I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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