called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
