somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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