my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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