just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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