at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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