ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
