I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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