The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
