So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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