well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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