is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize