I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
