it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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