And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
