She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
