YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize