i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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