Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also, beer. Big fan.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
