Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize