I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
