the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
