when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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