Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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