The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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